One Saturday Morning.

Saturday mornings are always nostalgic for me. I don't know why, I just always remember how special they were to me when I was a young boy. Saturday was easily the best day of the week. This was the day that I used to give kids an easy 20 in my YMCA or Boys and Girls Club basketball games. The day that my mom wouldn't have to threaten me with butt whoopins if I wasn't up the next time she came in that room. The day that all of my favorite shows came on. God definitely made Saturdays for the kids.

I woke up this morning around 7:30, in a good ass mood. I planned on sleeping in today, I guess that counts as sleeping in, because I had to be awake by 5:30 every day this week. I was in a good mood because I didn't HAVE to do anything this morning. That has to be one of the best feelings that an adult can have. I have things that I want to do, but nothing that is mandatory. I can just hang all day if I want to, and I just might. I might not even put clothes on. Might be a just draws day. Well it's too cold for that, but today is definitely #SweatpantsSaturday for me. 

I love being a man, an adult. I love the responsibilities that come along with it. However, sometimes I do miss being a kid. Specifically a kid on a saturday morning. I wish that I had some homework right now. I wouldn't even consider doing it, I would definitely just copy somebody's on Monday morning, but I wish that I had some. These days, everybody is on their grind. 24/7 people are out here trying to get it! (let the gram tell it) I see y'all, but me? I need to rest every now and then in order for me to be productive. I can't chase my vision with sleep in my eyes. So I've decided that I'm gonna be a kid until about noon, then I'll get back to the grown up grind.  

Sada K. Day

Today is a good ass day. No matter what happens today, 1.23 is a good day. Today my sister Sada K. releases her album to the world. This work is very much needed. I can't wait for everybody to hear it. I would say these things even if she wasn't my first friend in the world. I've witnessed her pour everything that she has into this album and I know that it will pay off. Watching her attack her dream has been so inspiring, she's not waiting for great things to happen, she is making them happen. She has such a beautiful spirit and her desire is to spread love through her music. And the album is JAMMING. 

UPDATED 1.29

I wrote what you just read Last Thursday night. My plan was to keep it short and straight to the point. However, while I was writing the entry, Sada text me (or texted me,I never know how you're supposed to say that, sounds weird either way to me) saying that something went wrong and that the album would not be released on iTunes at midnight how she had been planning for months now. She asked me not to post anything and said that she would figure it out and that it was fine. She has been going back and forth with iTunes for about a week now, I don't know what the issue was but she handled this very disappointing news phenomenally, as she always does. She remained positive throughout the whole process. She has been through so much to get to this point and to get this work out. I'm so proud of her and I know that you will love the album. I would love to tell her story but she does a better job than I ever could on the album. So today, the album is finally available on iTunes and in the Google Play store. If you love positivity and great music you will love “LONG STORY SHORT” by Sada K.

Sunday School

I was raised in the church. Every Sunday morning growing up, I knew where I would be. I was not always happy about this, especially when the Chiefs had a big game. Moms didn't care who was on the schedule, we were going to be sitting in the Lord's stadium every Sunday. Service was so long that we would often miss the first three quarters of the game, I would be mad almost every week. However, I do have great memories from those days and I built friendships that I still have to this day.  I'm happy that my mother made me go to church and build my spiritual foundation at an early age. 

Since I've been an adult, I haven't physically gone to church that often. Joel Osteen is my Pastor, I attend his services on television regularly. I love Joel because he talks about real life and doesn't just try to scare the HELL out of you. I appreciate that, 

So yesterday, my mom asked me if I would accompany her to church in the morning. She has been going to a new church and she loves it. It starts at 11 and she's walking out of the door by 12:30, so I was happy to hear that and happy to go. Praise and worship was jamming, they didn't try to guilt you for offering, I was enjoying service. It was now time for the Pastor to preach.

He preached a message on faith, but what stuck with me was the first thing that he said: "We seem to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Great intentions don't mean anything if you don't put them into action." That hit very close to home. Made me really think, and he was absolutely right. I have been working on being accountable and taking responsibilities for my actions. Especially being in a relationship. When I was single, I wasn't accountable to anyone but myself, that's no longer the case. It's always easy to come up with an excuse for why I did something wrong or made a mistake. I have defended certain actions by announcing my intentions, but at the end of the day, we are judged by our actions. Yes, I am human, and we all make mistakes, but mistakes can be avoided. Being human is not a good excuse, I have to tighten up. The pastor said that if he followed through on all of the intentions that he has in loving his wife that he would be a happier man, this is probably true for all relationships. My actions and intentions need to constantly line up. Not only in my relationship, but in my friendships, with my family, my work, my relationship with God, in every aspect of life. I'm learning.

After, he finished preaching a great message, the praise team came back and closed the servce. I was home, eating and watching basketball by 12:45. God is Good.

M L the K.

"But homie if you change, may you change for the better, back when Martin King had a thing for Coretta, wonder if she seen all the dreams he was dreaming, did she have a clue of all the schemes he was scheming..."      -Jermaine Cole

It's 5:30 AM on MLK day. I'm wide awake. Need to be sleep. Will soon be getting ready for work. I wish that I could stay home and observe the holiday, but Dr. King didn't dream of me being broke. The holiday feels a little different this year.  With everything going on in the world, it is reminiscent of the civil rights era. People are coming together and protesting in the streets and demanding change, it is a beautiful thing. Selma also came out a couple of weeks ago and the film is getting rave reviews. Dr. King is back in the spotlight, exactly where he should be. 

I saw Selma with my Pops the first weekend that it came out. The theater was packed, I hadn't been in a theater this packed since Dreamgirls came out on Christmas Day some years ago. (Jimmy got soul) However, I don't go to the movies often, tickets are too high for me, I ain't paying the five. The crowd for Selma was beautiful, almost  every demographic was represented, all here to see Dr. King. I was very excited for the film, I was hoping that it would show Dr. King in a light that really shows how great of a man he was, beyond the usual highlight reel that we see. I'm not going to tell the movie, but to me, they accomplished just that.

I loved watching the relationship between Dr. King and Coretta. In the black community they are the closest thing that we have to royalty. They are the true representative of Black Love. In the film, a side of their relationship was shown that we usually don't get to see. They were dealing with some real shit. Shit really couldn't get any realer. Me being in a relationship, appreciated this. Here is our hero, the great Dr. King, trying to change the world, dealing with some of the same issues that we all deal with.  At the end of the day, Dr. King was a man, one of the greatest men of all time, yes, but still a man. Coretta was a woman, a phenomenal woman yes, still a woman. They were a man and a woman, in love, trying to make it work. She gave him the same silent treatment that I receive, put him in the same dog house that I go to. She got on the same nerves, that my girl gets on. Through everything, they remained by each other's side. Even in death. I found it funny that they pointed out the fact that Coretta never remarried. Really? Who wants to come after MLK? You can't find a tougher act to follow. He literally changed the world, how are you possibly gonna impress Coretta? Martin has his own holiday, you ain't Jesus, you ain't Christopher Columbus, you ain't getting with Coretta.

As I write this, my Queen and I are dealing with some real shit. Nowhere near as real as Dr. King and Coretta, nobody is trying to assassinate me, I'm not even eligible to be "assassinated", if anything happened to me, I would just be  "killed", but still real shit none the less. This is probably why I woke up almost an hour before my alarm went off. I enjoy this part of our relationship. I love being tested and challenged, and still coming out on top. After we come out of a tough time, we might have a few scars and war wounds but we're stronger, we have grown. So the tough times don't discourage me, I know that they come with being in a relationship. Every relationship deals with them, even the great Doctor and Coretta. I have a dream that one day our bond will be as strong as the King's.

Just looked at the clock, got pissed instantly. I gotta get ready for work.  I'm taking a nap as soon as I'm free at last.

Ode to Ali

Dear Champ, I have many male role models. My father, my grandfather, my big brother, uncles, big cousins, former coaches, friends, etc. These are all people that have been very close to me and have had a huge influence on my life.  I also have role models that I have never met before. This list ranges from Allen Iverson to Mahatma Gandhi. I look up to many great men, they all have had a hand in developing the way that I carry myself and my way of thinking. There is no way that I could ever claim to be #SelfMade.

Of all the men that have had a great impact on my life, other than my father, and others that I am very close to in my personal life, no one has influenced me more than you. What you accomplished in the ring, speaks for itself. We all know that you are the greatest to ever wear a pair of boxing gloves. You made sure that we knew it by telling the whole world repeatedly. In my opinion, you are also one of the greatest human beings of all time. I have studied you since I was a little boy and I have always been fascinated. How you spoke with such intelligence and carried yourself with such charisma. Your confidence, pride of self, faith, determination, work ethic, how you stood up for what you believed in regardless of the consequence. I draw so much inspiration from you. Your book, "The Soul of a Butterfly" was the first book that I ever read for pleasure, it gave me my love of reading. I remember the tears (Thug tears, and they didn't fall) in my eyes as I watched you light the torch at the 96 Olympics. I have your simple, yet genius poem, "Me, We." tattooed on me. I watch your interviews, speeches and fights what seems to be weekly. Your words are stiill as relevant today as they were over 20 years ago. I pray for your health. I pray that one day your voice will be restored so that the world can hear you speak with that fire again. The disease has had you quiet for a long time now, but I know that you are still thinking. I know that you would have so much to say, however, if that never happens you have already said and done more than enough. 

With this being your 73rd birhday, I just want to say Thank You. From myself and the millions of others around the world that you have influenced more than you could ever know. My goal is to accomplish your motto everyday, "Be great, do great things".   

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING!     

Drive slow homie....

You never know homie, might meet some hoes homie, you need to pump your brakes and drive slow homie.  -Ye

I should've listened to Kanye. I'm not looking to meet any hoes, but I definitely should've drove slow. I got a speeding ticket today. I'm still pissed about it. I woke up today and decided that I wanted to go take some pictures if the city. I've been into iPhone photography lately, blame the gram. So I head into the city, blasting the new Nipsey Hussle album at concert levels, feeling good. I'm doing my normal 75-80 mph on the highway. No, I don't have an appointment, no, I don't have an exact destination. I was literally headed nowhere fast. I came over a hill, and waiting right on the otherside was a policeman. He was waiting on me, radar gun pointed directly at me. I knew he had me. He hit his lights quick, like he was one speeding ticket short of his quota and after this he could take the rest of the month off. I immediately turned on the dramatics, before I even pulled over I started shaking my head and hitting the steering wheel as if I was disappointed in myself, trying to get some sympathy. I finally found a spot to pull over, started recording a video on my phone, (just in case things got crazy) and rolled my window down. He asked for my license and insurance, this is the first time I've been pulled over and I had all of my paperwork legit, so I handed him my info quick! I was pulling out all of my manners, trying to get that good warning. He took my info and said it would only be a minute. He comes back and says that since I've been a gentleman that he knocked a few mph's off of my speed to lower my fine, but that he still had to give me a ticket. I appreciated that, said thanks, took my ticket, threw it in the glove box, turned my guy Nipsey back up and pulled off. 

I started thinking later about how I just wasted that money and had no reason at all to be in a hurry. Thinking about how I'm always in a hurry, even when I'm not headed anywhere. I want everything fast, I need instant satisfaction. I have always had an issue with patience, I hate waiting. I hate slow wifi. I hate slow service. I hate waiting on my girl to finish taking pictures of our food for Instagram before we can eat. I've called myself "working on" my patience for years. Today I decided that I am going to really be mindful of it and try to develop that virtue. It's okay to take things slow. I am going to try to enjoy this next leg of this marathon called life and not rush it. We live in a fast world, but sometimes we really do need to SLOW DOWN. Life is already short, it's no need to live it in fast forward.

I just wish that I could've thought about all of this before I got that damn ticket.  

#Goals

I love Mondays.  I love fresh starts. I like to write my goals out for the week on Monday mornings. I write out my goals for the month on the first Monday. So with this being the first Monday of the year, I sat down to write out my 2015 goals. I usually have a long list, very specific things that I want to accomplish. Some I reach, others I don't. I've been doing this for years. However, when I started writing my goals today, I only came up with three things. 

1. Be as happy as I can, as many days that I can.

2. Live better.

3. Get closer to God. 

I came up with this list in that order, I stopped after I got to number three. I realized that if I do number three, the first two will automatically come. If I can accomplish these three things, 2015 will be a good ass year. 

Head first.

I have a bad habit. Well, I have a lot of bad habits but right now I am talking about a specific habit of mine. I get an idea, I get excited about it, and then I plan the idea to death. I brainstorm until I eventually come up with reasons why the idea isn't as good an idea as I originally thought it was. I want perfection, if it's not perfect, or if I don`t turn out to be great at whatever I want to try the first time, I get discouraged. I have done this numerous times, I know that this is something that I struggle with, and I also know that this will get me nowhere. 

I had the idea for this site, months ago. I was excited to be able to create something, I started writing, and planning, and brainstorming. I wanted it to be a great represention of me. I wanted everything to be right, I wanted the timing to be perfect. I was putting expectations and pressure on something that I originally just wanted to be an enjoyable outlet for myself.

So I was up having a conversation with God the other night. Talking about life, purpose, dreams, aspirations, the usual. I feel like he was basically telling me to stop thinking so hard and start doing. I take notes from our conversations sometimes, and this is what I came away with in this one: Don't wait until all the stars align and everything is perfect to start something. A lot of times, the "right time" never comes. Sometimes you just have to say fuck it and dive in head first. Stop waiting for greatness, just BE.  

P.S. : Yes, God uses "bad" words sometimes when we talk. I guess it's His way of getting his point across. He knows that I can handle it, we're cool like that.

Live up to it...

I don’t have any children of my own yet. However, I am looking forward to becoming a father. My Queen and I often discuss the matter. We discuss when we would like to have them, how many we want, their genders, how we will raise them, etc…My favorite topic to discuss pertaining our future children is naming. We discuss potential names what seems to be almost daily. Every name that is suggested, the first question asked is, “What does it mean?” No matter how nice a name may sound, if it doesn’t mean something positive, it is voted down and removed from the list. Naming a human being is a huge responsibility, one that I am looking forward to. I believe that names are very powerful. Announcing yourself as, and answering to something day in and day out is serious. Names often become self fulfilling prophecies.  My parent’s also believed these things. When choosing my name, they considered a few options. I’ve heard Lance, Stone, and a couple others, but they decided on Ryan. I remember looking up my name in the baby name book in the grocery store when I was a young boy. I was happy to see that my name meant “Strong, Little King.” I instantly felt better about myself. I also felt like I had to live up to my name. I have always strived to live like a King. Not meaning a rich man, but to carry myself in a kingly manner. To lead, live with dignity, honor, be responsible, dependable, live with integrity, be courageous, to be strong physically, mentally and spiritually, to make wise decisions, to be a man of my word, etc…

When I was a young boy, older guys, like my big brother and his friends, or my uncles or big cousins would tell me to “Man Up!” They would tell me this when they felt that I was being childish or behaving less than manly. Well, now I am a man, still trying to live up to my name. Striving to fulfill the prophecy that my parents placed upon me. I often hear the terms “man up”, “woman up” or “boss up”.  Well it’s time for me to “King Up.” That is the focus of my life right now, in every aspect. I want to behave like, and carry myself as a King. The way my parents saw me when they labeled me as such.