Fill her up.

@artbyaliyah

During this time of year, we often hear that it is better to give than to receive. I don't mind doing either. I've always loved to give, but I also enjoy receiving. I'm learning how to become better at both.

In the (not so long ago) past, I was extremely selfish. Especially in my dealings with women. Never being in a relationship before, I was mostly concerned with what I was receiving from the situations.

When I first got with Al, I was trying to figure out how the hell I was going to do this. I had ZERO relationship experience. Well, I take that back, I had two "girlfriends" in high school for a total of twelve days. I ended both "relationships" on the sixth day. (and rested on the 7th) I just wasn't feeling it.

While trying to figure this out, I decided that I needed some outside help. I didn't have anybody to really ask for advice. Not too many people that I'm close with have success stories. So I decided to do some research. I bought the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

In the book he talks about how different people speak different love languages. According to Chapman, a persons love language needs to be spoken, for them to be satisfied. The five languages are Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Acts of Service. I feel like I need 4 out of the 5. I'm greedy. (Receiving gifts doesn't do that much for me.) But I was reading with a selfish mind. I was thinking about what I needed to receive and not what I needed to give.

The book was a great read, but experience is the best teacher. One thing that I've learned being with Al, is that our love has seasons. There have been times when we are both doing great, and everything is all good. There have been times that I have been weak and I need her to pick me up. There are also times when she needs me to pour into her more and love on her as much as possible.

Right now, we are definitely in a season where I need to give. I embrace this season. I'm focused on giving. I've learned that the more love that I pour into her, the more love I see flow out of her. Thus, the happier she is, which means that I'm doing my job. Plus, the more love that I deposit into her, the more I get in return, and I'm still greedy. I need all mine.

I pray that she continues to feel comfortable letting me pick her up. She's so independent, and because of experience, it isn't always natural for her to receive love. But she accepts it from me, and as long as she does, I won't stop giving it.