One Month In.

Time is flying. Today marks one month since we said our "I Do's".  May 28, 2016. The day that everything changed.

When I woke up, I knew that it would be a huge day, but I didn't know what to expect. This is the biggest day of my life. I am making the most important decision that I've ever made. How do I prepare myself for this? Do I even try to prepare myself? Do I go with the flow? I've never gotten married before. I'm not true to this, I'm new to this. I decided to go with whats gotten me this far, winging it. Whatever is going to happen, will happen. I decided to just embrace everything as it came and enjoy the day.

I was not nervous. I was not afraid. My feet weren't cold at all. I was ready. I wasn't under any pressure. This is exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. It was time to take the next step. The only thing that I was slightly worried about was delivering my vows. 

We decided to write our own. The pressure was on. I was brainstorming for weeks. I had to recite my vows after Maya Angelou Jr. Great. The bride has literally written books of love notes. I was outmatched. I decided to stop stressing, and just write down what I promise to do as a husband. I was proud when I finished them. I let mom hear what I came up with, she approved. I was set.

The hours leading up to the ceremony went by so fast. It felt like I woke up, blinked, and was standing in front of the Reverend in my suit, (cleaner than an a deacon on Easter Sunday) waiting for Alex to join me, so we could get the party started. 

And there she was, walking towards me. So beautiful. Tears flowing down her cheeks. I was hoping that they were tears of joy. People had been asking me all week if I was going to cry. I had no clue. If I felt the tears coming, I wouldn't hold back, but I wasn't planning on needing any kleenex. It was a happy day, and I usually only shed tears on sad occasions. I was elated. No tears were on my face, only a big picture day smile.

The Rev was performing a great ceremony. Al delivered beautiful, heartfelt vows, like I knew she would, and now it was time for me to handle my business. I cleared my throat, it was showtime... 

I commit my body and heart to you, to be yours and only yours. 

I vow to stand by your side, through the peaks and valleys of this life. To laugh, cry, and grow with you. To pray for you, and with you.  To share the joy of the good days, and comfort you through the hard nights. 

I vow to protect and provide for our household. To lead our family and support your dreams.

You are a blessing and my best friend. I vow to treat you as such, with loyalty, trust, honor and respect. Above all, I vow to love you, as you are, unconditionally and without hesitation. Always.

My job for the day was done. The bride was kissed. Mr. and Mrs. Spearman were presented.

The rest of the night was a blur. We had a great time with our friends and family. We laughed, cried, (Mama's speech got me) and danced the night away. The day was a success. We were already out here. Now we were REALLY OUT HERE. 

The past 30 days have been some of my best to date. I feel born again, It's hard to explain, but it is a great feeling. I feel high. Just knowing that someone wants to ride through life with me, forever, is a good ass feeling. I didn't think that it would feel any different. We've been a unit, and living together for a good amount of time now. But, just being a husband and having a wife has made all the difference. I am living for more than myself.

God willing we will have about 25,000 more days together on this journey. I know that they won't all be as sweet as these first 30, but if the majority of them are close, life will be good. It's up to us to make that happen.