Tighten Up.

I turned 30 on August 5th. I didn't have any big celebrations planned. All that I wanted to do was release my first book, "Young Man, Rumble".  I originally planned to release the project in the first quarter of the year. But, life happened. At this time, I knew where I wanted the story to begin, but I didn't have a clear ending.  After the pregnancy, miscarriage, engagement and marriage, I was ready to complete the story. I also knew that I wanted to release it on my 30th birthday. I couldn't think of a better way to bring in my third decade on earth.

 It was now June, I was on the clock, and it was ticking. I've never written a book before. I'm completely new to this. I didn't know exactly how this process worked, but I got to work. I started writing like my life depended on it. I had a deadline. I had to get this out on time. 8/5. This was non-negotiable. I finished the rough draft in early July. I then began a grueling editing process.

 I edited and re-read and re-read and edited for weeks. I damn near had the whole book memorized. I wanted it to be perfect. This is my first release, they say that you only have one chance to make a first impression. It was crucial that I make a strong introduction as an author. I have failed so many times. I didn't want this to be another plan that I didn't see through. I wanted to execute. I wanted to start my thirties off on a positive note.

 I turned the book into my designer and got the proof back on August 2nd. I had three days to spare. Right on schedule. Things were working out exactly how I wanted them to for one of the few times in my life. I was so excited. The proof looked amazing. It was exactly what I wanted. Seeing that beautiful royal blue with my name on it as an author was a great feeling. One that I will never forget. I skimmed through the book, everything looked good. I was all set. Three days later, I released the book at midnight of my birthday. I felt high.

 YMR had a great opening weekend. I was feeling good. Orders were being placed and delivered. While I was at work on Monday, Alex was reading the book and putting some excerpts on snapchat. I was in a great mood, this was her first time reading the project and she loved it. This was the first feedback that I had received. Before I released it, the book was under lock and key. When I got home, I asked to see her snapchat story. While watching, my heart dropped. I noticed an error on a page. I couldn't believe what I saw, something so obvious. How could I miss this? I read every word of this book what seems to be a hundred times. I was sick. Al tried to calm me down, saying that it wasn't a big deal. But it was to me, it was the biggest deal. YMR is a representation of me. I wanted it to be perfect. It wasn't. I didn't want one more flawed copy to be sold. I made the book unavailable for purchase.

 We took a short road trip that evening. I asked Alex to go through the book and mark every error that she found. I felt knots in my stomach every time that I saw the red pen touch a page. I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my shit. I was confused. I saw errors that I already corrected. I now realized what happened. I fucked up. I turned in the wrong draft to the designer. I blew it. I didn't do my due diligence. When I received the proof, I should have checked it thoroughly. This whole situation could have easily been avoided. I was so disappointed in myself. The errors aren't major, most probably wouldn't even be noticed. But I notice them, and I want the project to be as tight as possible.

 I was pissed for about 3 days. I let myself down. Every time that I saw a picture of a book that arrived, I cringed. While I am very proud of the now limited edition that was sold during the opening weekend, I needed to get my best work out. I had to get it together. I fixed the errors and sent the correct draft to my designer.

 After the initial disappointment, I relaxed. Nothing has ever come easy for me, I didn't expect this to be any different. I now appreciate this project even more. YMR represents me to the fullest. It is a story of resiliency and fighting through adversity. It's ironic that the actual release came with its own struggle. One that I brought on my damn self. This just makes the book even more special to me. I am proud to announce that YMR is now available again. You can find it by clicking the YOUNG MAN, RUMBLE link at the top of this page. I thank you all for going through this journey with me and allowing me to express myself.