Just work.

I am writing this at 7PM on Sunday evening. I got off work a few hours ago, and just woke up from a nap. This was one of them, I don't even remember falling asleep, where am I? Naps. I woke up to check the Chiefs score, we're just about to win our 6th game in a row. Now I'm fired up. Good Sunday.

When I got off work, I picked Al up from the airport. She'd been out of town since Thursday, working. The house has been so quiet over the past few days. I've been doing a lot of thinking, eating a lot of struggle meals, and taking some good naps. But mostly thinking.  

I have always been obsessed with the future, I can't help it. I try to focus on the day and live in the moment, but my future is constantly in the back of my head. My mind has been racing these last few days. Maybe because it's now December and 2015 is basically over. It seems like just yesterday we were saying happy new year and now Bun is already writing her Christmas list. Santa said no to the puppy, not gonna have me outside picking up dog shit in the cold. No ma'am. (Side note:  The quiet that I have been enjoying over the last few days, is GONE. As I'm writing this, Al is playing her music at hole in the wall strip club levels.) But I've been thinking about my life, and where I am. I don't believe in coincidence, I believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. However, where I am, is not where I intend to be forever. 

I am blessed. So blessed. I thank God multiple times a day for putting me in the position that I am. All of my needs are met, and I will never take that for granted. I vividly remember praying to be in the position that I am in now. I am in position to control my own destiny. 

Today at work, I was talking to one of my co-workers about life. We have a lot in common. He's a young king trying to make something happen in this world. We bounce ideas off of each other every day, and help each other game plan. We strategize and brainstorm. While I was encouraging him to go after what he wants, I started thinking that I need to take my own damn advice. I've always been able to encourage people, I think that's one of my best qualities. I take pride in being a very positive person, but when it comes to myself, I don't always give that same push.

At times I have been my own worst enemy. For some reason, I've held myself back from really attacking my dreams. I know what I want to do, and what I need to do, but for some reason, there is hesitation. The solution is really simple. I've just got to do it. I've got to put the work in. I have no excuse.  I want to be better, I need to do better. Across the board, for every role that I play in life. 

I've never wanted to be average, but honestly, I've been giving average effort. Because of this, I have been getting average results. Sometimes it is hard to admit this, but it's the truth. To get where I want to be, I can't bullshit myself. I can no longer hold myself back, or trip myself up. Life already comes with enough obstacles that I won't be able to avoid. I refuse to be responsible for my own failure.  

"We can do whatever we want to do with hard work and the ability to make a decision." - Michael Chernow

Straight up. 

I made the decision a long time ago that I never wanted to be average. At anything. I can not be scared of success. I must fulfill my potential. Failure is not an option. I'm on it.