2.5

Time is flying. Sometimes I can't believe how fast the days are going by.  I feel like I just blinked  and missed January. However, it was a fairly productive month for me. I kept my goals in mind and worked towards them. I have no complaints about the first month of the year, but damn it feels like it was only yesterday that Alex and I were in the bed sleep at 11 o'clock on New Year's Eve like somebody's grandparents.  

I was riding around (and getting it) today and I happened to be listening to Joel Osteen's podcast. The topic of today's episode was Time. He spoke about how time is more valuable than money and how we need not waste it. This is something that I have agreed with for a long time, but I haven't always lived like it. Sometimes I take time for granted, like I know where I can go get some more, but this is all that we've got.  

So while I was thinking about time, I was filling out some paperwork when I wrote the date for the first time today. 2.5. When I was a kid, I used to look forward to this date. This day is exactly 6 months before and after my birthday. This was the day that I could officially add on the big "and a half" to whatever age I was. This was a big deal when I was a kid. I was in such a hurry to be grown. Only if I knew then what I know now. This grown shit is a set up. Anyway, I remembered how big of a deal this day used to be for me, my "half birthday". Times have changed, I don't mention the "and a half" anymore when asked my age. Sometimes I really have to think about how old I am. I had to think hard about what I did for my last birthday. Maybe I'm getting old. 

I am 28 (and a half) years old, this is crazy to me. I can remember being 16 vividly,  My life is COMPLETELY different than what I pictured it would be at 28. I figured that I would be in my 5th year in the NBA, with millions of dollars in the bank, still macking and hanging, partying from city to city, just living it up. Not happening. I am happy though, I can still relive my hoop dreams every now and then, I don't have seven figures yet, but I'm working on it and I macked and hung and partied with the best of them.

I am happy, but I can't lie and say that getting older is easy on me. I have quarter-life crisis all of the time. I think that I'm not doing enough, I struggle with the fact that I feel like I still haven't found my purpose. I know that time is just going to keep going by faster, I am afraid that I'll wake up one day at 50 and feel as though I haven't been living a meaningful life. It's tough, but I've been doing better. I can drive myself crazy thinking about the future. I understand now, more than ever, that my life is what I make it, I am in control of it. I can't waste time thinking about what I'm not doing, I have to just DO. If I want to live a meaningful, productive life, I have to do meaningful, productive shit. It's quite simple. I am no longer in crisis mode, I feel really good about where I am in life and where God is taking me. Now it's time to turn up for my half birthday, and by turn up, I mean watch basketball until I fall asleep.